Recovery

I started this blog back in May of 2010. My longing to write - like many creative endeavors - is most high when I am struggling; when feelings are more than I can bear. With full knowledge that I have so much to be grateful for, I'm there people...I AM THERE. Down in the dumps. 

I found my way back into this old thing and came across my last drafted post, never published. It was written back in December of 2015, after life had taken some intense turns:

"Recently life has been a series of recoveries. Not all unwanted, mind you, but all recoveries of one sort or another. First a miscarriage, then a pregnancy, labor, a planned surgery, an unplanned diagnosis, a second surgery. Each left me in a waiting game - in the Advent of something. Now on the other side, I feel lost. Part of me wants to pull out the boxing gloves, clench my fists in front of my face and get ready for whatever life throws next. The other part wants to crawl into a fetal position. 

As I write, delete, write, delete and write and delete some more, it's becoming clear that that wise unpacking of life that will lead to some pithy statement isn't really in the cards for today. Maybe tomorrow. For now I'll let Naomi's expression say it all. Who needs words, anyways, when you have a picture worth more than a thousand?"

Indeed, life keeps presenting those Advents, and I feel in the midst of heavy decisions and inadequate wisdom for the umpteenth time. Posting things always feels so vulnerable...and yet I know that vulnerability is exactly the answer. Or as Brene Brown says, "People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses."

So, here's to vulnerability, recovery and leaning into the discomfort that is life. Can I be a badass and also opt to crawl into the fetal position today? I say yes!