Belonging. That is what I felt visiting this gravestone. It is that of my grandparents, Otto and Irene (Barlage) Young. A large contingent of my extended family visited this cemetery and another one last weekend on a muggy, 105+ degree day in Union, Missouri. Sound fun? Walking around with a sweaty butt and hard to find shade with relatives I hadn't seen for years did have its drawbacks. But, oh, how grateful I am for the visit, the remembering, and the honoring of our generations before us. Belonging is defined as a "secure relationship; affinity"; "acceptance as a natural member or part". Whether you like it or not, your genes are your genes; your blood relatives are your blood relatives. I can't speak to the experience of adoption, but visiting those graves gave me a renewed appreciation for my heritage and the family tree that I am a natural member and part.
Some thirty years ago we celebrated my Grandpa Otto's 80th birthday. My dad wrote the lyrics for us 21 grandchildren to sing to the tune of Frere Jacques. So PW, isn't it?!? (PW = my dad)
Do you know us?
Do you know us?
Grandpa Young
Grandpa Young
We're your children's children
We're your children's children
Twenty-one
Twenty-one
Some fifteen years later, the family has grown exponentially, and all those that could of the multiple generations came together to reunite, remember, celebrate, and introduce new "Youngs" to the heritage they belong. We also came together and sang - to much the delight of my father. PW married in to this clan, adding his own Westermeyer flair, appreciating the Young heritage as much as any of us, which is filled with a history of music. So, we sang. PW directed us through an edited version of "Do you know us?", with each generation/group having their own much fraught over verse to sing. And, in a round, of course. (When I figure out how, I'm going to post a video of it for all to see and hear the fine Young choir...and laugh a little, 'cause it is a bit crazy!)
Grandpa Otto is no longer living, but I have this desire to ask him, "Do you know us?" Your heirs? Do you know what you started? And do we know him? And Irene? And the generational tree that vines out in all sorts of directions? It feels so important to know. And so important to be intentional about staying in touch. There really is nothing as beautiful as family - as frustrating and ugly and disfunctional as it can be at times.
On this 35th birthday I say cheers to my family, my heritage and the community of those that love me, by blood, marriage, and friendly love. It's nothing short of a beautiful rainbow!
